so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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