If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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