soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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