I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize