Farmville is her only friend.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
