Your face is a jimmy john
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Randomize
