I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
