Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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