Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
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