Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
