he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
My pussy is not your playground.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
