Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
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