For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
