is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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