My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Randomize
