Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
