Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize