He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Randomize
