There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
