a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
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