We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
