it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
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