So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
This is classic penis vs brain.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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