My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
this beer tastes like vomit already
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
