she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
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