What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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