It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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