the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
