I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
