Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
