well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
did i walk over a car last night?
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Randomize
