I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
