Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Randomize
