we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize