My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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