So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
