we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Randomize
