I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
