You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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