It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Every concussion has its silver lining
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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