everyone is single if you try hard enough
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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