drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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