My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize