So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
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