I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Randomize