no, he came in my armpit
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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