I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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