This dress was meant to end up on your floor
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
