Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
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