I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
This house was built for laser tag.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Randomize
