I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
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