You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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