I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
I think im going to throw up on grandma
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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