what day is it and did you see me today?
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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