im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
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