Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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