His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
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